Awwdorable Orange Cat Sparks Silly Feud Between Two Coworkers

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Ellie Dunn
Dec 19, 2021 3:00 PM EST

After over a decade of publishing the funniest cat content on the internet, we can say this with our whole heart: some cats are just derps. That's perfectly ok, in fact we love our derpiest cats most of all because they're just so stinkin' cute and fun, but we would definitely be lying if we pretended like every cat makes smart decisions, some just don't. But today we have a story about a woman who set out on a quest to teach an especially derpy cat some life skills, and ended up having to talk to HR at her workplace about slathering the cat in margarine. Yes, margarine…

In the defense of both people that were involved in this story, we just want to say, that taking care of a great big orange cat is not easy, in fact we even wrote an I Can Has Cheezburger original song about it which you can listen to here. if we were you, we would hit play on the song, and then get ready for the wild ride that is this Reddit storytime below:

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  • 01

    The story starts with a man describing how his workplace adopted two lovable cats...

    Font - THE STORY We have two workplace cats in one area of our worksite. They add value to the worksite, we all love the cats and the worksite cat presence is not the issue. One of the cats (Jean) is a tortoiseshell cat we have had for years. The other cat (Jorts) is a large orange cat and a recent addition.
    via u/throwawayorangecat

    Aww, Jean and Jorts are such cute names, we wonder where the original poster of this story works. Every workplace should have a workplace cat! Libraries, fire departments, everyone could use a little furry joy in their workplace lives. Unless they have a workplace dog of course, then it's ok to turn it down.

  • 02

    He goes on to write that Jorts the cat can be a bit of a derp, in the cutest way possible.

    Font - Jorts is just... kind of a simple guy. For example, Jorts can't open a door even when it's ajar- he shoves it whether he is going in or out, so often he closes the door he is trying to go through. This means he is often trapped inside the place he was trying to exit and meows until he is rescued.
    via u/throwawayorangecat

    Awww, we can totally relate to Jorts. Heck, we aren't even cats and we get lost or stuck behind doors all the time. Of course, our cats do too, it's honestly a pretty common cat thing, whether they're kittens or adults. 

  • 03

    Enter Pam, a well meaning coworker of OP's:

    Font - My colleague Pam (not her real name) has been spending a lot of time trying to teach Jorts things. The doors thing is the main example – it's a real issue because the cats are fed in a closet and Jorts keeps pushing the door closed. Jean can actually open all the other interior doors since they are a lever type knob, but she can't open this particular door if she is trapped INSIDE the closet.
    via u/throwawayorangecat
  • 04
    Hair - Tortie Jean is very nice to poor orange Jorts, and she is kept busy letting him out of rooms he has trapped himself in, so this seems easy to resolve. I put down a door stop.
    via u/throwawayorangecat
  • 05
    Font - Pam then said I was depriving Jorts of the "chance to learn" and kept removing the doorstop. She set up a series of special learning activities for Jorts, and tried to put these tasks on the whiteboard of daily team tasks (I erased them). She thinks we need to teach him how to clean himself better and how to get out of minor barriers like when he gets a cup stuck on his head, etc. I love Jorts but he's just dumb af and we can't change that.
    via u/throwawayorangecat
  • 06
    Font - Don't get me wrong- watching her try to teach Jorts how to walk through a door is hilarious, but Jean got locked in the closet twice last week. Yesterday I installed a cat cutout thing in the door and Pam started getting really huffy. I made a gentle joke about "you can't expect Jean's tortoiseshell smarts from orange cat Jorts" which made Pam FURIOUS. She started crying and left the hallway, then sent an email to the group (including volunteers) and went home early.
    via u/throwawayorangecat
  • 07
    Font - In her email Pam said I was "perpetuating ethnic stereotypes by saying orange cats are dumb" and is demanding a racial sensitivity training before she will return. I don't think it's relevant but just in case, Pam is a white person in a mostly minority staff (and no she is not ginger/does not have red hair).
    via u/throwawayorangecat
  • 08

    Here's What Reddit Had To Say:

    Font - stressrelief375 · NTA. I've never met an orange cat that wasn't exceedingly dumb, maybe a catologist can call into this thread and confirm that they are in fact stupid. But in this case, this cat is in fact stupid and she's just torturing the poor little guy
    via stressrelief375
  • 09
    Font - Pleasant-Koala147 My tortie is a pretty smart girl and the boss of the house. My orange and white boy is very pretty but he's definitely lacking in the brains department. His nickname is also Jabba the Fluff because he's too fat (yes he's on a diet, no it isn't working). Maybe I need sensitivity training for fat shaming him.
    via u/Pleasant-Koala147
  • 10
    Font - bristly_hedgehog NTA Workplace cats are not work. 1. Pam does not get to dictate daily tasks, as you stated that is your job 2. Workplace cats aren't part of the job. They're a fun thing to have at work. But Pam needs to shut up about them and get tf back to her actual job, which, correct me if I'm wrong, isn't cat tutoring 3. It is disrespectful of her to compare you calling orange cats dumb to actual racism, and she needs to get some perspective Tell Pam to get the hell back to work.
    via u/bristly_hedgehog
  • 11

    And finally, here's an update on how the story ended:

    Font - Thanks for responding to my query which had truly upset me. I work to have a good relationship with my team and the situation had gotten weird so gradually that I lost perspective.
    via u/throwawayorangecat
  • 12
    Font - I just met with HR, she had already met with Pam. HR was concerned about Pam's comparing ethnic stereotypes with giving a cat a doorstop and they addressed that which went well. HR will follow up to make sure Pam understands. (The replies to my query were helpful to me for this discussion.)
    via u/throwawayorangecat
  • 13
    Font - HR also addressed Pam assigning other staff Jorts-related tutoring, as it is not appropriate for Pam to assign others work. This also went well.
    via u/throwawayorangecat
  • 14

    Margarine? Umm what?

    Font - Lastly, and this made us both laugh so hard we can't deal with it in person and will be said via email: Pam admits that she has been putting margarine on Jorts in an attempt to teach him to groom himself better. This may explain the diarrhea problem Jean developed (which required a vet visit).
    via u/throwawayorangecat
  • 15

    Thanks for reading until the end!

    Font - serenasarcasm BRO LMAO0000 Pam is not to apply margarine to any of her coworkers I am dyyyyyinnnnnnnnng. I want to work in this office so badly Imao
    via u/serenasarcasm

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tabby hilarious cat haha thread orange-cat storytime calico Reddit Cats funny
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